Wednesday, July 12, 2006

Tastes Like Chicken...and Rice!

What's up with chicken and rice on the Mother Ship??? That's the question my cohorts and I have been asking lately. A sampling of this week's offerings from Cafe 110:

Monday: "Chicken Tikka" (served on a bed of white rice)
Tuesday: "Chicken Burger"
Wednesday: "Chef's Table Chicken Fajitas" (probably with Spanish rice on the side)
Thursday: "Grilled Chipotle Chicken Sandwich". The carvery will be serving "Beef & Broccoli". Guess what they serve it on? That's right, a bed of rice.
Friday in Cafe 110: "Grilled Chicken Pita".

About 3 months ago I jokingly asked the manager of Cafe 110 if he had a surplus of chicken. Seriously, he responded "Yes."

When I browse the menus for the other fine dining establishments on board, I find chicken and rice in one form or another. Seems the whole campus has a surplus of chicken and rice. So much so, in fact, I'm surprised that a certain unnamed yet famous buxom blonde doesn't show up in front of the flags and protest for PETA. I'd bet we on the Mother Ship consume more chicken than the entire west-coast chain of KFC stores! Okay, maybe not that much. But we do have it A LOT!!!

After doing some digging, I think I figured out what's going on:

Chicken and rice are the fundamental elements of the Mother Ship.

Think about it:
That low-fat hamburger patty…surely made with chicken

The bun...rice bread
Friday’s Chicken Soup: Leftovers from Monday through Thursday
Pad Thai…rice noodles
Logo Stress Balls…You guessed it. Filled with rice kernels
Door stops…left-over chicken
ID Badges…laminated rice paper

But I’ve noticed even more versatile uses. Heck, I'll bet we have some machine next to an underground parking garage that converts some of our rice to ethanol. I’d go so far to even suggest that our backup generators run on this ethanol. Imagine the cost savings...

After all, if we can make ethanol from the rice, we can use it to run the turbines that start the nuclear reactor that generates the power to spin the disk platters containing the bits of the new framework that runs the innovative new web-service based scientific calculator on our new Web 2.0 operating system (sans media player).

While I have highlighted some of the benefits of the ubiquity of chicken and rice on the Mother Ship, there is also a downside. I’ve noticed that several people have developed a slight tick, their heads rapidly lurching forward and snapping back every few seconds. If we don’t stop the madness we’re going to start clucking.

That reminds me, they’ve been serving more egg dishes in the morning lately…


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